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Well as we all know each day brings a new experience some of it surprising some expected. I knew that a day would come when my
mother Rose would have to be placed in a facility because like most 90 year old people they require full time care.
This is especially hard for me as I have lived with her since 1992 when I returned from the West Coast after giving up acting as a
a career ( but not as a passion ). We have shared alot since then the untimely passings of my older brother Tony and my older sister Barbara.
I completely renovated the house that she retired with my father in 1976. We changed from harvest gold kitchen appliances and 70's
orange shag carpets to stainless steel kitchen appliances and sisal carpets ,windows with long drapery panels that gently lift from the floor
as the breeze comes through the large new windows to neutral colored ,textured fabrics with abstract art on the walls and a beautiful
new wood burning fireplace.
I took over the care of the house and cooked delicious meals that we would enjoy in the new kitchen . I would host dinner parties
and Rosie would hold court with my friends who loved her and treated her like a Queen bestowing her with gifts of chocolates and flowers.
The biggest change was our relationship , I learned compassion ,patience ,empathy ,and the ability to love unconditionally . The
pleasure of getting to know her as a person , a women , and in some respects a child. She loved when I would make her a Sunday
and top it off with whip cream and a beautiful cherry " Hmmmmm ! " she exclaimed .. and like a child sitting at a soda fountain she
would swing her legs and heartily consume the ice cream ,I would occasionally have to remind her to wipe her mouth. She would
finish up slip off the stool and kiss me goodnite as I reminded her to brush her teeth . So are the responsibilities of caregiving to an
elderly woman.
So now she is living in her new residence eager to come home ,there is the rub, for now home to her is where she grew up
with Mama and Pop and her six siblings who she believes are alive and well which is not the case ,save for her younger sister
Ann . She asks how often I see Mama because now she thinks I am her brother and would I like to come upstairs and see the family
and spend the nite . After all " We have an extra bed and I will be mad if you don't stay " " Ok we will talk about it later "
It has been just a couple of weeks since this has happened and she was officially placed on Thursday Valentines Day.I spent
the afternoon with her I brought her a beautiful little cake that looked like a pink present with giant pink icing bows and white polka
dots.
We attended the party in the hall and Roise let go of her walker and held both my hands and we danced in place,swing back and forth.
" Tell Mama we danced she will be so happy to hear that "
The house feels a bit empty and as I stand in her room looking at her stuffed bears and LLadro statues I miss her and feel the void
in my life and the winds of change.
I am so lucky to have had this time and to bring our relationship to a new place of love and calm.
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| | Posted 2/17/2008 10:28 PM - 117 Views - 4 eProps - 2 comments
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